Go... Ready. Set.


Is there something you want to create or experience that feels perpetually unfinished?
Perhaps your mental or physical preparation is keeping you from the real action. 

An easy example? I've set aside today for writing my next eBook... and what do I have to show for it?
Nothing. Not a damned thang. Why? Because I've been so busy preparing, I haven't yet begun. 

We long to "feel ready" before we make our bold move.
We pace the starting line. We stretch. We wait for the gunshot to go off. But what if it never does?  

Expression is clarified through action.
The quickest way to get inspired is to start creating. The fastest way to get clear on what you want to say is to start talking. And the best way to determine where you want to go next is to start moving. 

Go... Ready. Set.
See you at the finish line, {{firstname}}.

xo

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3 Fears That Keep Us Stuck

I specialize in helping people get unstuck. Over the years, my work has shown me that there are three questions that can quickly reveal how to get a life moving again. 

What are you afraid to admit?
What you feel most called to withhold just might be holding your life hostage.
 The most vulnerable and pivotal truths are often steeped in shame, so we keep them hidden from view. Feelings, thoughts, and impulses we would rather reject end up lashing out at our lives... acting out, like the neglected children of our psyche. 

Denial keeps you (and everyone around you) stuck. 
You can't change it if you aren't willing to own it.

Admitting your desires and or struggles from a place of empowerment looks very different than bitching and moaning. Self advocacy is the willingness to stand up and announce your willingness and right to overcome challenges, mutating your secret pains into rip-roaring power. Claiming your needs be honored is a healthy act of sovereignty. 
Afraid that your truthful admission will hurt those closest to you?... I can assure you that denial of your deepest true will do far more damage in the long-run. The most painful truth is often the most potent. Show up for you and allow others the opportunity to show up for how it lands in their world.  

What are you afraid to let go of?

Some part of your life has been long outgrown. It could be a role you've been playing, a relationship, a job, or simply a state of mind that no longer serves your greatest good. We tether our identity to beliefs and circumstances that serve us for a time... until eventually they become ill-fitting. We have to allow for many deaths in order to keep birthing our lives forward. 

Letting go can be a bitter-sweet confusion.
It is a treacherous reach into the great unknown. 

When something or someone no longer satisfies our needs in the now, it means divorcing a dynamic. It can be painful to release ourselves from something that we once identified with or invested in so profoundly. Not to mention we must face the terrifying expanse of the wide empty terrain that awaits us. 
Do you fear that letting go means giving up?... Release can be about authentic freedom or it can be avoidance of a necessary medicine. Not sure? Ask yourself if in letting go you would feel a sense of relief on a soulular level. Letting go of something good because of a genuine call toward something great is no step backwards, even if you can't yet see where you are going.

What are you afraid will never happen?

There is an expression within you that you ache for. While you may not be clear as to how this expression will come to be, some part of you yearns to feel your uniqueness manifested in form. Expression can show up in a conversation, artistic creation, vocation, relational role, or simply in expressing your innate freedom to do none of these things. 

It's time you author your own story. 
Some part of you is meant to ask 
why (or why not?) in a way no one has before. 

Restlessness will be your constant companion until you willingly move your life in the direction of what you really want. That dull nameless ache in your gut that keeps you from appreciating all the blessings you see around you?... it's pointing you toward something. And it's most likely daring you to challenge the status quo within your world in some way.  
How can you more authentically express this life you call yours?... Perhaps you are operating under the assumption that your dreams are out of reach to you because of the way you've always seen it done. There is no guidebook for what it is that you want to express, for it's never been done before. Stop waiting for the variables align perfectly when you are the one creating the game board for you. 

Are any of these fears keeping you stuck? 
Is there another you'd like to share?
Tell us about it in the comments below.


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Wake Up Call! Message to my Zumba Peeps


A Special Message to my Zumba Students & Friends:

There IS such a thing as too much of a good thing. And I mean a genuinely good thing... I’m not talking about binging on bon-bons. I’m talking about a thing that lights you up from the inside. Dance does that for me. Movement and the liberation it brings. I can honestly say that it has saved my life on more than one occasion. But that story is for another day...

Most of you already know that I love me some ass shakin’. My specific passion has morphed throughout the years (Nia, martial arts, hoopdance). Since January 2009, it has been Zumba.... liberating, joy-inducing, wild-woman, sensuality-celebrating Zumba.

It does a body good. To a point.

What lights you up can burn you out. Choose moderation.


Experts say that moderate exercise can boost your immune system and contribute to overall health. Moderate, folks. Now call me crazy, but 7-9 Zumba classes a week isn’t exactly moderate. As you know, Zumba is a crazy fun, all-out booty blasting workout that pumps high-energy from minute-one all the way to the end. Sure, we build in some dips here and there. But there is no room for deep breathing. Interval format, yes. Restorative movement, not so much. Heads up, ladies (and you rare but fearless hip-girating gents)...
ya gotta balance your muscle with grace. I don’t know how many times I’m gonna have to learn this one. And you can step down from your pedestals mind-body practitioners... even modalities that promise both (ie. yoga, Nia, hoopdance) can be overdone in spades due to our incessant desire to push it to further limits. Trust me, I have severely scalded myself on all counts. Thankfully, my body is sending me a very clear message once again...

After three years of pretty much non-stop teaching each week, my immune system is crashing. Big time. I have been sick more in the past year and a half than I have in the ten years prior. No joke. My body is in crisis-mode, and I have no choice but to listen. Of course my dance schedule is not solely at fault. Far from it. As a multi-passionate entrepreneur I have created a rigorous work schedule for myself, balancing paying the bills (working late into the night) with building a business during the day. Add to that loss of a dear loved one two years ago, and you’ve got a prescription for an emotional and physical body teetering toward imbalance. Oh, and did I mention that my diet could also use some improvement?

Hang out long enough on the edge, and eventually you’ll fall over.


As a result, I will be altering
my schedule and my priorities, effective immediately. I will be going down to teaching only four classes per week. Yep, I’m gonna workout like a civilian. ;) And I will also be taking of August 5-11 for my birthday and some much needed me-time. Damn straight, and I deserve it! I know some of you will be disappointed at the changes, but I can promise that the space afforded will expand into into bigger projects that will inspire you on every level.

The biggest change will be at NW Women’s Fitness Club, where I will no longer be teaching regular classes. I have been with some of you ladies for many years, and I will miss you dearly. I have received a tremendous amount of love and support in that space, and I am a better woman for having known and danced with you all.

As many of you know,
in 2009 I launched the Zumba program there. It has been a massive success, an achievement that continues to be a highlight of my teaching career, even winning me an award! And now that same program has grown to include a magnificent team of women who are passionately committed to your fitness and fun-time. That being said, I want to use what limited authority to offer a couple more very important reminders to all of my students out there.

First let me say that I appreciate SO much your words of praise and love around my teaching. After over a decade of teaching and sharing what I love, it moves me to tears to think that I have such a loyal and grateful following. I truly savor each and every moment of celebration for the talents that I’ve worked so hard to develop.

On the flip side, it pains me when I hear that other teachers are being held to unfair standards. Don’t get me wrong, ladies... feel free to like what you like, speak your mind when you don’t get what you want... but please, let us remember not to alienate ourselves from connection by attaching ourselves to one way of doing something. It is perfectly natural to be attached to one teacher’s style, to resonate with someone. And it is also unreasonable to expect (or desire) that someone else emulate it.
I passionately believe that every person has a unique gift to bring to dance and teaching. Please don’t miss all that good stuff oozing forth right in front of you by wanting him or her to be someone else. I am sure you know from a lifetime of relationships, that doesn’t bring out the best in anyone.

You will see better when you expect better.


In my early days I was the studio manager and primary guest teacher for Nia’s founders. It took a tremendous amount of personal power and courage for me to step up in front of a room full of people who expected me to deliver at the highest standard possible; to stand in and hold a candle to the experts. At times, I could feel boredom and eyes rolling behind me. I imagined thought bubbles popping up over the students’ heads: “I wish Debbie was here.”... “Has it been an hour yet?”... “Who IS she and why in the hell is she doing THAT?” Of course some of this was nerves and may not have been based in reality, but it zapped my energy and my joy nonetheless. I never taught at my best when I was distracted by an air of disappointment in the room. I eventually learned to plug into the students who seemed to want to be there... the ones who genuinely wanted me to succeed. By anchoring into my peeps, I regained my center and found my own style. Over time, the people who didn’t vibe with me moved on, and I slowly developed my own following.

The point is, if you want to see ANY teacher at her best, flash her your most winning smile... cheer her on and mean it... take charge of your own joy... lift the energy in the room. That gorgeous creature in front of you has every right to shine in her own way. Please do your best not to inadvertently make her wrong for her uniqueness or her learning curve. She is doing her very best to serve you.

That being said... if, by chance, her style isn’t polished enough or just doesn’t sit right with you. No problem! But please check-in with yourself before you make it about her... or the management... or about anyone else.
It’s your experience. Own it. Speak your truth without complaining or making anyone wrong. Own your right to make a choice, and walk on. Or better yet, keep experimenting with an open mind until you find a right fit!

When you own your experience, THEN you have the power to change it.


Ok. I will step from my soapbox now. ;) I just hate for you to miss out on all the magic of the moment by wishing it could be different. It is a wonderful feeling to be appreciated by you all... yet my most heartfelt desire (far beyond fame or accolades of any kind) is to inspire you to live and walk fully in your power. That is
my real work.

I love you all dearly... and my heart aches a little in the letting go. But such is the price of change. I am 100% confident (seriously, I am that certain) that we will all gain something in this transition. IF we are open enough to see it. As always, I welcome your comments below. xo!

And if you like what I bring to class, you will love what I bring to coaching. Why not spend some quality time with me one-on-one? As an incentive, I’ve got a deal that will knock your socks off...

This special offer is ONLY AVAILABLE to my students. I adore you all!
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with Candice
If you have an issue in your life or body and could use support,
It’s time to cash in!
Apply and mention this offer.
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WTF is GRACE anyway?!

WTF is Grace Anyway?
What To Do When The Rug Is Pulled Out From Under You


In November 2004 I was slated to move into an apartment with a friend and colleague. I had given notice at my current place, rented the truck, everything was set.
Four short days before I was to move, I was sipping a latte at Starbucks when I got a call from my new roommate. For reasons outside of her control, the whole thing had fallen through at the last minute. Her current roommate was staying, and I had nowhere to go. Keep in mind, this was also three days before Thanksgiving... not exactly a huge hustle time in the rental market.

I was stunned. I fell perfectly silent.
And then, for some reason I can't explain... I was completely calm. I thanked and reassured her with a graciousness that surprised the shit out of me, and I hung up the phone. I took a deep breath, expecting to be overwhelmed by panic. But it never came. An inexplicable sense of acceptance rolled over me, and what was that (relief?... ?!), followed by a sense that something was so RIGHT about everything in that f'ed up mess of a moment.

I got into my car to drive toward work. But I turned left instead of right. I drove straight toward the neighborhood I MOST wanted to live in. I drove and drove... weaving closer to the forest I wanted to be near. I called numbers on a few apartment complexes (per the signs posted outside). They were all out of my price range. And by a lot. All the while, a voice inside taunted me to quit... “give it up, girl! you can’t afford to live here. and you are going to be SO late for work! JUST GIVE. IT. UP!”

But instead, I ignored it. I kept driving. I kept calling numbers. Still nothing I could afford. And just as I was about to give up (mind you, only 20 minutes into this little adventure), I decided to drive to the end of the road. Almost to where the road dead-ended, I saw a set of lovely little red steps leading into a landscaped courtyard. It was an eight-unit complex where every unit had its own hand-carved wooden front door. I loved it immediately. And at the top of the steps was a “for rent” sign. I called apprehensively, and a sweet elderly lady answered the phone. I could immediately feel she was very kind... “The door is unlocked... go on in, honey." I toured a lovely little one-bedroom abode and anxiously asked questions: Would you allow for my cat? “Oh, I just love cats! Even more than people, sometimes!” she giggled. When could I move in? “Well, it’s available NOW, honey.” And the most dreaded question: (gulp) How much is it? (holding breath) “oh I try and keep it low.”... she then quoted me a price that left my mouth gaping open. It was $25 more a month than the teeny tiny studio I had been living in for the past year. I almost fell over with relief and amazement at how easy it had been. Too easy??...

Nope. I moved in three days later.

On top of that, it was hands-down the easiest move of my life. My friend and her roommate felt so bad that they had left me hanging, I had all the man and muscle power that they could call upon. It was a 3-hour move, tops. A total breeze. It still makes me smile remembering how few boxes I carried.

Living there was a pivotal time in my life... things wouldn’t have been the same if I had ended up anywhere else.

It was (and still is) a miracle moment in my life. That day I understood the sensation of grace. Moving forward, while letting it happen. I went from crisis to solution in 20-minutes... all by remaining calm and insisting upon something better.

Now I haven’t had that much grace in response to every crisis in my life (that’s for damned sure!)... but I do know that when I
persist without forcing... when I keep driving in life... when I make the calls... when I become available to the impossible... and when I am willing to do my part to make it so, I almost always get what I want.

I really do get what I want, a lot of the time. Maybe not right away. But eventually, yes. Ask the people who know me. Many people see this as a positive, but I have been condemned for it more than once. Maybe it’s because I am stubborn to a fault. Sure... maybe I need to tone it down from time to time (when I become impatient or focus on the wrong things), but
when it comes to insisting on a life that I love, persistence works for me.

Or better said... I work for life. So life works for me.

So when the rug is pulled out from under you, curse only for a moment, get your ass up, and get moving. The next chapter is in front of you... like an automatic door you can’t see. You have to step forward, insist on its existence... get close enough and it will S W I N G W I D E O P E N.

Grace is a delicious thing, but it can’t happen without you.


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Indecision. What Do I Do?


“Help! I am so unsure about what to do.
And it terrifies me that I may make the wrong decision.”


It’s not always apparent which direction we should go in. Sometimes we feel pulled apart at the seams by two distinct courses of action. Maybe the option we are faced with overwhelms us with perceived pressure or insecurity... we ask ourselves, “Is this REALLY what I want?” And in some cases, we’re just scared shitless. There is no perfect answer to serve all occasions, but I can offer you a few tried-and-true strategies that will help you to find your answer every time!

#1 :: Pay Attention to the Voice in your Head....
Are your reasons for doing it empowering or disempowering?

The first step to gaining clarity involves an exercise in self-awareness. Noticing the internal language you use around a particular course of action can immediately reveal your deepest truth. When you debate this issue in your heart and mind, what words do you use most?

For example, said-action is disempowering when you use words/phrases such as:
I really have to this because... (there is no “have-to” in empowerment)
If I don’t do this then...
(indicates fear is guiding you vs. possibility)
I’m not sure what else I would do, so I probably should...
(should’s are just shitty reasons, period.)
This worked for so-and-so, so it must be the right thing to do...
(fyi, it’s your life)

On the other hand, said-action is empowering when you use words/phrases such as:
It’s so exciting to think about doing this because... (a feeling of exhilaration)
Even though I’m scared, the possibilities this opens me to are... (moving toward expansiveness)
If I don’t do this now, I just know I will regret it later... (guided by intuition)
Even if this doesn’t work out, I have a feeling it will lead to something great... (a sense of *optimism)

Essential aside regarding optimism: I find it an unfortunate (and misguided) use of optimism when people talk themselves into loving an idea just because it COULD work out. Of course it could! But that doesn’t mean that you want to do it! An optimist can talk him or herself into doing anything. Save your rose-colored glasses for another day. Making important decisions requires you be honest with yourself and what is really guiding your choices. What matters more that IF it could work is whether or not a course of action lights you up or dims you down. Do you feel more or less powerful when you imagine doing it?

#2 :: Ask Your Body....
What is your gut telling you? Literally.

It’s easy to get caught in the cross-fire of the heart and mind. A part of us yearns to do something driven by our passion around a cause... while our mind frantically tries to keep up with us while weighing the pros and cons. The result of this banter can be maddening, as we drive ourselves crazy with scenarios. The heart professes the pleas of the artist-within... the mind is ever-concerned with the logistics... and no one conclusion seems apparent. That, my sweet, is the time when you just gotta listen to your gut!

Your body speaks its own language, and when you learn how to listen to it... you’ll never make decisions the same. Sit quietly and breathe for a bit. Get your bearings first... and then go back to the place where the heart and mind are tossing this choice you are about to make. First turn down the volume on the mind... let lawyering fade into the distance a bit to create a little space for the heart to step in. Then slowly do the same with it... allow the passionate pleas of the heart die down as you place your attention on your lower belly. Stay there for a moment. What do you feel? Likely, a flutter of some sort... anxiety is common when a major choice presents itself. But here is the question you must ask your gut:
Do I feel the sickness of apprehension?... or Do I feel the stirring of desire? There can be a fine line between the two, but with practice you will learn to discern between Lionheart Fear (that calls upon courage) and the Inner Sage (that tells us when to hold out for something better).

If you’re still not sure whether or not to trust your gut... then ask your most observant and trusted friend to do a body read for you. Say what?!! Yea... seriously. It’s easier than it sounds. Tell them that you want to talk it out, and you just want them to focus SOLELY on your body language, not the content of your argument. Then, just let it rip... I mean really pour out your thoughts and fears around this decision. Go on until you feel empty... then ask them this question: Did I seem bigger or smaller when I talked about do said-action? You may be surprised by their answer... honest friends are always a good read.

#3 :: Reality Check - It’s Not WHAT you choose, it’s THAT you choose
I often offer my clients The River Metaphor as a way of understanding how essential it is to keep moving in life (more on that soon). Essentially, your life will move with or without you. When you go with it, it’s a much smoother ride. Choice is one of the greatest gifts we have been given, and it is the most essential aspect in our evolution both individually and collectively. When we refuse to make a choice around something, it postpones our growth. Growth is inevitable, while grace is defined by how we choose to go about it. Movement requires saying YES and saying NO... over and over again and again. The sooner you allow for an answer (any answer!), the sooner you free yourself up for the next opportunity. There is no right or wrong in movement... there is only forward. Whether you say yes or no, you have spoken and the current of life will move you that much faster. More on responding to the now, and release the how.

Still not sure what to choose? Then, quite honestly, it’s not a decision that warrants your energy. Let it go.
Say yes... say no... say anything(!), and move on. Being stuck is far more detrimental to your growth than any direction you might choose. You can’t mess this up. The lesson will be learned, either way.


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So What? You're Scared.


“Why do I keep avoiding the life I want?!”

“Start before you’re ready.” - Marie Forleo


It is really freakin’ easy to put things off. I mean, seriously easy... I myself can spend hours planning [translation: postponing!] something I really want to do. Literally. I am a compulsive list-maker... and it’s seemingly good cause to feel productive when not much of anything is actually going on. Ironically, many people would describe me as a go-getter - disciplined and responsible. Ha!... I’ve got them fooled, eh?! ;) Nah... it’s true. I can be counted on to get shit done, that’s for sure. It’s only the things that require the most heart and soul that I avoid. Curious, eh?

Case in point, many of you know that I am a writer. I have shared bits of pieces of myself via articles here and there. I even have a blog dedicated to my love of poetry and prose. (
RecklessNectar... and yes, it’s as raw and succulent as it sounds.) But lately I have been wanting to more actively incorporate my writing into my coaching practice, in bigger and bolder ways... and with consistency!!! So why haven’t I done it? I love to write, so that’s not where the resistance lies. My blog is a perfect place to start; I clearly have the platform. But instead of sitting down to write, I put it off or plan it... I make lists of topics... I get distracted by what is urgent... I continually postpone my bliss. WTF?...

I see this phenomenon all around me. Clients that can’t keep themselves from crossing their arms and rolling their eyes when I mention the thing they’d most love to do with their lives. Friends who are wickedly skilled in a great variety of things that light them up, putting off the baby steps in exchange for happy hour or a Facebook session. Millions of people settle for lives that don’t-quite-suck and put off what would make them GLOW. In fact I have found that almost anyone, if you probe long enough, has a latent passion they’ve dreamt of stepping into for as long as they can remember.

So what gives, yo?!
Why do so many of us resist getting on with it?

Why do we AVOID doing what we would most love to do?

Conventional psychology would say that “fear of failure” is the culprit. Many would argue that our insecurities are what terrorize our will to act. Perhaps, in some cases. But if we examine more closely, I think we will see an even deeper fear at work. I call it Fear of Exposure.

You see, what we love the most, reveals us the most.
Essentially, our deepest passions are connected with the most intimate part of us. When we unlock their expression, we are completely exposed. Offering exposure to what is most real for us is the scariest thing we could ever do. Ironically it is also the key to unlocking
our greatest joy. We are our most free when we are our most vulnerable, honest, naked, and real.

It’s scary, isn’t it?... being so exposed?
True. It takes practice, stepping into the light in all your naked glory. But let’s be clear, it’s not the fear that stops you from doing what your heart yearns for. Hesitation does that. What’s the difference, you ask? Fear only has the power you give it. It’s just a handy surge of energy that rises up when we feel a real or imagined threat. It’s a subtle (or sometimes paralyzing) sensation that you can learn to navigate. It’s not fear that is the problem, it is what you do in the face of that fear that defines how the moment will unfold....

When faced with exposure of self... Do you hesitate? Or do you ACT? Giving vehicle to your authentic desires... acting in the face of fear... this will conjure up more power than you could ever imagine.

Uh... okay... but but... but Coach... what about my insecurities?... processing my core issues?... chanting affirmations?... making vision boards?... reading the latest and greatest self-help book? Great! Do those things if you feel they light you up in a meaningful way.
But none of them, NOT A SINGLE ONE is a substitute for action. Trust me on this... I’ve done the legwork.

It’s GO TIME....

I commit to:
Writing. It is the passion I mostly intimately connect to. It is what I was born to do... and therefore, it scares the shit out of me how naked I become when I do it. And that’s EXACTLY why I have to do it. I plan to walk my talk, and I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

What about YOU?
What are you scared shitless of doing... that you are going to
just do anyway? I’ve got your back. Seriously. You don’t have to do it alone. And trust me. The Nike brand is timeless for a reason. Just Do It. These three words will change your life forever.

Action transmutes fear into pure, raw POWER.
So go kick fear in the ass!!


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Move Toward What Moves You :: Explained

movetowardstag
My mission is to encourage self-expression through movement in life and body.
Expression is inevitable. Movement is inevitable. Together they shape your life.



expressiontagfull

You inherently long to express who you are...
Regardless of what your life looks like, you are naturally compelled to share yourself with the world around you.
When you offer yourself, your truth, and your gifts unfiltered in the moment, you feel vital and alive.
When you repress your authenticity repeatedly, over time it festers and creates imbalance in body and mind.


You seek to be validated in your expression in some way, shape or form...
You are a relational being who feels more real and intentional upon contact with others.
Your creations (in love, work, family life, or even in solitude) help you to define who you are.
Witnesses (be they supportive or critical) propel you forward and remind you that your perspective has alliance, contrast, and therefore meaning.


You continually change and evolve in your expression...
The creation of your perfect life will never be a completed project because you are ever-changing.
Your discomfort and disconnection with what you once felt to be enough is a natural part of your evolution.
You evolve by changing and
MOVING THROUGH the various challenges/opportunities that come your way...


movementtaglinefull

Move Your Body
Movement is as essential as breathing. A physical outlet is the body’s natural way of literally or metaphorically moving through tensions without need for identification or processing. Whether you appreciate it or not, you are a living and emotive being that requires some movement in order to release and shed stagnancy. Moving your body can take care of a lot of emotional baggage and save you the drama of processing. But it’s not enough in and of itself. Your body can be a metaphor for your progression, but it is no substitute....

Move Your Life
There is a cultural myth that eventually we will get there. Where exactly, we aren’t always certain... but if we just get that one job, that one partner, that one opportunity, everything will fall into place. So we strive to reach our goals, and often we do. And we are satisfied for a time. Then the hunger consumes us once more. Why can’t we just get happy and stay happy? Because we are wired to desire, and the wanting for more is at the core of our evolution as a species. Our lives are meant to continually reach forward. A time of respite is healthy, but when we linger too long stagnancy leaves us feeling restless and dissatisfied. Your life is meant to move through seasons, as long as you live and breathe...

Move Toward What Moves You
And so we learn we must change again and again - ourselves, our circumstances. Reaching again for something that could offer us more. Letting go of something that once was enough. Too often we substitute addictions for the more profound changes that are being asked of us because we are terrified of this natural compulsion to move forward. We are wired to desire experiences that bring about an expression of ourselves that is more than we ever thought we could be. When we stop denying our nature, we will find we enjoy the ride, though bumpy it may be at times. You must allow for the small deaths that birth new experiences. It is the nature of all existence. We must continually move toward that which brings about sensations of aliveness, exhilaration, and the thrill of new life!

Read more. Learn about the 5 Myths of Self-Expression. What beliefs may be coming between you and your uninhibited genius?



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